I get questioned by people sometimes about how I am able to open up about some personal things on my blog. I try to leave out names and situation specifics depending on what I'm talking about, but when it only refers to whats going through my head, I don't always feel the need to censor. I'm not sure why that is. I've never been a person who is particularly private with most aspects of my life. If you want to know something, I will usually be up front with my thoughts and opinions. This blog has simply become an extension of that. I'm not sure why my thoughts seem as if they have more validity to me when they're shared. But sometimes when things run through my head a lot, the only way I can seem to progress to the next thought is to share them with the world. And I guess I preface this blog with those thoughts because I feel the need to purge whats been circling in my brain once again.
There's a couple things I've been struggling with lately and they're not things I like to dwell on. The first is that I find myself rather envious lately and that is not one of the seven deadly sins that I often struggle with. There's one thing in particular this envy has focused on but it has taken other forms as well. It's not an emotion I'm comfortable or familiar with and therefore I'm having a hard time finding the tools to overcome it with.
Another problem I've been having is trying to break bad habits. I am a creature of routine, immediate pleasure, and comfort. I admit it. I like the easy, obvious pay off. But I have a few things in my life at the moment that need to change or that I need to give up and I'm having a hard time accepting that. How do you give up something that you know will ultimately be disastrous when it makes you happy in the moment? And how do you convince yourself to put all the hard work in now, and to stick to it, when you know you won't see the fruits of your labor for some time to come?
I know this was a particularly abstract and vague post but I don't think its necessarily fair or appropriate to share all the details in this type of forum. For those of you that pray, I would appreciate your thoughts in helping me become stronger in these current struggles. And for those that don't...a simple pat on the back and 'you can do it!' will suffice! :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
I Wanna Do Bad Things to You
Many of you know that I have been a loyal fangbanger (to borrow a term from a certain popular tv show) since before I'd even hit my teen years. Which, is to say, before vampires were the "it" topic and before they ever sparkled in the sun. So it may not surprise you when I admit that I added HBO to my cable line up last week purely to catch the True Blood premiere Sunday night. Unfortunately I have little to no time to write tonight, but for those of you who didn't catch the episode I wanted to share my favorite parts with you. And don't worry, I brought something for everyone...fangbangers and those who's tastes run a little more toward the warm-blooded (though future were-panther) variety.
May I introduce Alexander Skarsgard...
...and Ryan Kwanten.
Sweet dreams ladies :)
May I introduce Alexander Skarsgard...
...and Ryan Kwanten.
Sweet dreams ladies :)
Thursday, June 23, 2011
So YOU Think You Can Dance
There are many reasons why summer is my favorite season...beach time, my birthday, no school (unfortunately that one no longer applies to me)...but one of the top reasons is that my favorite show is back on tv: So You Think You Can Dance.
Those of you who know me know that I was a dancer for about 12 years at a dance studio in Tallahassee and was on my high schools dance team for 4 years. I was on competition teams for each and was co-captain on dance team my senior year. So I grew up around dance and still can't get enough. I haven't missed one single episode of SYTYCD for 7 (now on its 8th) seasons. The obvious reason is that the dancing ability and level of choreography on the show far surpasses anything else on tv. But another reason I love it is every year I come out of a season with a small handful of unique songs that I would not have discovered anywhere else and that I relate to in very strange, personal ways. Last year was the first year that my favorite song of the season actually became popular and got radio play. Some of you may recognize 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri. Last fall she made a music video for the song and those more astute viewers will recognize SYTYCD alum Alison and Katherine featured in the video. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
Other favorite songs from past season that are worth a download...
The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
The Garden - Mirah
Breathe Me - Sia
Dancing - Elisa
But of course I can't write a post about SYTYCD without showing you some of its best products. So here are (what I consider to be) the top 3 dances from the past 7 seasons.
Chelsea and Mark: Bleeding Love (Lyrical Hip Hop)
Kayla and Kupono: Gravity (Contemporary)
I think its important to understand the "story" behind this one. She is an addict and he represents the drugs/addiction.
Janine and Jason: If it Kills Me (Contemporary)
And a freebee just for fun to show that not everything is so serious and there is lots of fun to be had as well...
Robert and Dominic: Scars (Hip Hop)
Those of you who know me know that I was a dancer for about 12 years at a dance studio in Tallahassee and was on my high schools dance team for 4 years. I was on competition teams for each and was co-captain on dance team my senior year. So I grew up around dance and still can't get enough. I haven't missed one single episode of SYTYCD for 7 (now on its 8th) seasons. The obvious reason is that the dancing ability and level of choreography on the show far surpasses anything else on tv. But another reason I love it is every year I come out of a season with a small handful of unique songs that I would not have discovered anywhere else and that I relate to in very strange, personal ways. Last year was the first year that my favorite song of the season actually became popular and got radio play. Some of you may recognize 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri. Last fall she made a music video for the song and those more astute viewers will recognize SYTYCD alum Alison and Katherine featured in the video. Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
Other favorite songs from past season that are worth a download...
The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Gravity - Sara Bareilles
The Garden - Mirah
Breathe Me - Sia
Dancing - Elisa
But of course I can't write a post about SYTYCD without showing you some of its best products. So here are (what I consider to be) the top 3 dances from the past 7 seasons.
Chelsea and Mark: Bleeding Love (Lyrical Hip Hop)
Kayla and Kupono: Gravity (Contemporary)
I think its important to understand the "story" behind this one. She is an addict and he represents the drugs/addiction.
Janine and Jason: If it Kills Me (Contemporary)
And a freebee just for fun to show that not everything is so serious and there is lots of fun to be had as well...
Robert and Dominic: Scars (Hip Hop)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Best way to make it rain?
Wash your car of course! My dad always used to joke about this growing up because it always seemed to be true for him...he'd spend the afternoon detailing his car (aka his midlife crisis) and it would pour later in the day. Apparently I've borrowed that special gift from him. I had my car washed today (though, lets be honest...I didn't personally detail it, I ran it through the gas station's car wash) and then looked out my window this evening into the rain. Oh well, maybe everyone's cars needed to be washed too.
Recently I've been reading a new trilogy called The Hunger Games and have become completely entrapped in this world. I finished the second one this afternoon and am now lamenting that I work all weekend because I'll have barely any time to spend with the third. The premise is this: It's an undisclosed period of time in the future and North America is now a country called Panem that consists of a capitol and 12 districts. Seventy-four years ago the districts tried to overthrow the capitol and failed. To punish them, each year the capitol forces each district to randomly draw the name of one boy and one girl between the ages of 12-18 to compete in the Hunger Games, which is a televised fight to the death with only one victor that everyone in Panem is forced to watch. The victor's district then receives foods and goods for the rest of the year, which are desperately needed because the districts are extremely poor. In district 12, a twelve year old named Prim's name is drawn and her sister Katniss volunteers to enter the games for her. This is where the first book in the trilogy starts.
A lot of people look at me weird when I try to describe the premise because they think it sounds like some sort of futuristic Lord of the Flies. But it is nothing like that. (And for the record I hated Lord of the Flies. That book will forever inspire memories of my English teacher Mrs. Dunlap talking about Piggy dying and how the crustaceans form a halo around his head because he was The Christ Figure. Apparently every single book of literary significance had a Christ Figure. Who knew?) These books grab you from the beginning and even when you think you've figured out one or two of its secrets, there's 3 more you don't expect. They are found in the teen fantasy section, but don't let that fool you. There is blood, starvation, torture, and death. But you want to fight for these characters and you become extremely invested in their outcome. I'm just starting the third and I can only imagine where it goes. So if you need an exceptionally engrossing read this summer...definitely pick up The Hunger Games.
My roommate and I joined a small Christian study group through a church she's been attending on occasion. Unfortunately with my work schedule I've missed about as many meetings as I've been able to attend, but so far we're really enjoying both the subject matter and the company. This past week was one that I had to miss because of work, so I thought I would take a minute and reflect on what I thought was an interesting question posed the week before. But I'm going to open it up for all belief systems and just mention the most basic idea behind it. What 'body part' prevents you from being your best self? Is it your mind? The way you view the world with pride or self importance? Is your mouth and what you say to others? You really could find an example for any part of the body. But as soon as the hands were mentioned, I knew that was my weak point. More specifically, the things that I do, or don't do, don't always line up with the person I want to be. I always have the best intentions in my mind, but I don't always take the time out of my day to act in accordance of my thoughts. I decide the fact that I feel a certain way should show enough about who I am, I shouldn't have to take time out of my day to turn good intentions into a physical act. Or sometimes it takes the flip side. I do something I know does not represent the person I want to be, but physical temptation has always been a weakness of mine and I decide the fact that I know its not right should partially make up for the actual act.
So thats my new challenge. Try and make my physical actions line up better with what I know is the right thing and the person I want to be. What about you? Which 'body part' is your personal hurdle?
Recently I've been reading a new trilogy called The Hunger Games and have become completely entrapped in this world. I finished the second one this afternoon and am now lamenting that I work all weekend because I'll have barely any time to spend with the third. The premise is this: It's an undisclosed period of time in the future and North America is now a country called Panem that consists of a capitol and 12 districts. Seventy-four years ago the districts tried to overthrow the capitol and failed. To punish them, each year the capitol forces each district to randomly draw the name of one boy and one girl between the ages of 12-18 to compete in the Hunger Games, which is a televised fight to the death with only one victor that everyone in Panem is forced to watch. The victor's district then receives foods and goods for the rest of the year, which are desperately needed because the districts are extremely poor. In district 12, a twelve year old named Prim's name is drawn and her sister Katniss volunteers to enter the games for her. This is where the first book in the trilogy starts.
A lot of people look at me weird when I try to describe the premise because they think it sounds like some sort of futuristic Lord of the Flies. But it is nothing like that. (And for the record I hated Lord of the Flies. That book will forever inspire memories of my English teacher Mrs. Dunlap talking about Piggy dying and how the crustaceans form a halo around his head because he was The Christ Figure. Apparently every single book of literary significance had a Christ Figure. Who knew?) These books grab you from the beginning and even when you think you've figured out one or two of its secrets, there's 3 more you don't expect. They are found in the teen fantasy section, but don't let that fool you. There is blood, starvation, torture, and death. But you want to fight for these characters and you become extremely invested in their outcome. I'm just starting the third and I can only imagine where it goes. So if you need an exceptionally engrossing read this summer...definitely pick up The Hunger Games.
My roommate and I joined a small Christian study group through a church she's been attending on occasion. Unfortunately with my work schedule I've missed about as many meetings as I've been able to attend, but so far we're really enjoying both the subject matter and the company. This past week was one that I had to miss because of work, so I thought I would take a minute and reflect on what I thought was an interesting question posed the week before. But I'm going to open it up for all belief systems and just mention the most basic idea behind it. What 'body part' prevents you from being your best self? Is it your mind? The way you view the world with pride or self importance? Is your mouth and what you say to others? You really could find an example for any part of the body. But as soon as the hands were mentioned, I knew that was my weak point. More specifically, the things that I do, or don't do, don't always line up with the person I want to be. I always have the best intentions in my mind, but I don't always take the time out of my day to act in accordance of my thoughts. I decide the fact that I feel a certain way should show enough about who I am, I shouldn't have to take time out of my day to turn good intentions into a physical act. Or sometimes it takes the flip side. I do something I know does not represent the person I want to be, but physical temptation has always been a weakness of mine and I decide the fact that I know its not right should partially make up for the actual act.
So thats my new challenge. Try and make my physical actions line up better with what I know is the right thing and the person I want to be. What about you? Which 'body part' is your personal hurdle?
Monday, June 6, 2011
Apologies all around
I've been an absentee blogger for a few months now and I apologize. I've been adjusting to my new work and trying to throw myself into other things, and sadly my little pocket of the web has been badly neglected. But I am back with some new outlooks! Plus, I've discovered a few friends with their own little corners on here and I so enjoy being a voyeur into their worlds its given me more motivation to give you a bit of a peak into mine.
So where to possibly begin? I am officially a full-fledged Neuroscience nurse at TGH now. I spent just over a month with my awesome preceptor, Rabina, as she tried to adjust me to the world of paper charting (which is an incredibly foreign world for me) and then with very little warning I was pushed from the nest! Things have been going well though. The girls on the floor were all very welcoming and I'm comfortable going to them with questions. The hardest part for me is always learning the doctors and knowing who to call in the right situation and that just has to come with time. I can't believe I've been there for 2.5 months already! So stayed tuned to see how work continues to pan out!
Life socially has also been good. Last weekend for Memorial Day one of my best friends from back home came to visit all her friends in the Bay area and I got to spend some quality time with her and a few of her sorority sisters from college. Here's us in downtown St Pete:
I will never have enough good things to say about my Alyson! We have been close since we met in second grade and she's been there for me through thick and thin. Of all of my friends I know that I can tell her anything and it will not change our friendship. She might whip me into shape or tell me what I'm doing wrong but it won't change our friendship or how she sees me. Which is pretty much the best quality you could ever ask for in a friend. And lucky she did come down, because I may have needed a little Aly beating! Ha. Another fabulous thing about Aly is she was just as obsessed with Backstreet Boys as I was circa 1999 and this July we will finally be seeing them in concert - something that has been at least 12 years in the making! Oh, yeah NKOTB might be there too, but who really cares about that part??
Other exciting friend news...most of you should know, but I was a sorority girl in college. Yes, I was one of those girls. An Alpha Delta Pi Diamond to be exact! And I just found out last weekend that my "Big Sister" in ADPi got engaged! I'm so excited for her!! And what makes it even more exciting (for me, ha) is that she asked me to be a bridesmaid! Lisa and I have always had a really good relationship and we're always there for each other but we always had a lot going on in our lives and different social circles outside the sorority so we've never been constant in each others lives. But the love is definitely still there and I feel really honored that she's asked me to stand up with her on her big day. It's funny because I was actually talking with my sister this weekend about weddings and being a bridesmaid because some of her friends from college are getting married and I mentioned that I can't think of the next time I would have the opportunity to be in a wedding...that it certainly wouldn't be for a long time. Boy was I wrong! So I can't wait for the wedding festivities to begin!
One of the most fun things that's happened to me lately...I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Orlando this weekend! Awhile back I posted about my love for Ms. TSwift and I was so thrilled to be able to attend the concert. My parents and sister drove down for the event and we each invited a friend. Of course I asked my country-loving roommate to tag along! She put on an amazing show and I was so happy to hear all of my favorites from the new album played. The best part is that I've been able to put most of memories I connect with her songs away for the concert and just enjoy the moment. Though I can't deny a few tears escaped on Last Kiss. Damn that song! Here's some pictures from before and during the concert.
Well I think that was plenty from me for now! Now its time to start preparing for Book Club tonight and then hopefully fitting in some Bachelorette viewing before bed tonight!
So where to possibly begin? I am officially a full-fledged Neuroscience nurse at TGH now. I spent just over a month with my awesome preceptor, Rabina, as she tried to adjust me to the world of paper charting (which is an incredibly foreign world for me) and then with very little warning I was pushed from the nest! Things have been going well though. The girls on the floor were all very welcoming and I'm comfortable going to them with questions. The hardest part for me is always learning the doctors and knowing who to call in the right situation and that just has to come with time. I can't believe I've been there for 2.5 months already! So stayed tuned to see how work continues to pan out!
Life socially has also been good. Last weekend for Memorial Day one of my best friends from back home came to visit all her friends in the Bay area and I got to spend some quality time with her and a few of her sorority sisters from college. Here's us in downtown St Pete:
I will never have enough good things to say about my Alyson! We have been close since we met in second grade and she's been there for me through thick and thin. Of all of my friends I know that I can tell her anything and it will not change our friendship. She might whip me into shape or tell me what I'm doing wrong but it won't change our friendship or how she sees me. Which is pretty much the best quality you could ever ask for in a friend. And lucky she did come down, because I may have needed a little Aly beating! Ha. Another fabulous thing about Aly is she was just as obsessed with Backstreet Boys as I was circa 1999 and this July we will finally be seeing them in concert - something that has been at least 12 years in the making! Oh, yeah NKOTB might be there too, but who really cares about that part??
Other exciting friend news...most of you should know, but I was a sorority girl in college. Yes, I was one of those girls. An Alpha Delta Pi Diamond to be exact! And I just found out last weekend that my "Big Sister" in ADPi got engaged! I'm so excited for her!! And what makes it even more exciting (for me, ha) is that she asked me to be a bridesmaid! Lisa and I have always had a really good relationship and we're always there for each other but we always had a lot going on in our lives and different social circles outside the sorority so we've never been constant in each others lives. But the love is definitely still there and I feel really honored that she's asked me to stand up with her on her big day. It's funny because I was actually talking with my sister this weekend about weddings and being a bridesmaid because some of her friends from college are getting married and I mentioned that I can't think of the next time I would have the opportunity to be in a wedding...that it certainly wouldn't be for a long time. Boy was I wrong! So I can't wait for the wedding festivities to begin!
One of the most fun things that's happened to me lately...I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Orlando this weekend! Awhile back I posted about my love for Ms. TSwift and I was so thrilled to be able to attend the concert. My parents and sister drove down for the event and we each invited a friend. Of course I asked my country-loving roommate to tag along! She put on an amazing show and I was so happy to hear all of my favorites from the new album played. The best part is that I've been able to put most of memories I connect with her songs away for the concert and just enjoy the moment. Though I can't deny a few tears escaped on Last Kiss. Damn that song! Here's some pictures from before and during the concert.
Well I think that was plenty from me for now! Now its time to start preparing for Book Club tonight and then hopefully fitting in some Bachelorette viewing before bed tonight!
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