What's currently circling my brain

I get questioned by people sometimes about how I am able to open up about some personal things on my blog. I try to leave out names and situation specifics depending on what I'm talking about, but when it only refers to whats going through my head, I don't always feel the need to censor. I'm not sure why that is. I've never been a person who is particularly private with most aspects of my life. If you want to know something, I will usually be up front with my thoughts and opinions. This blog has simply become an extension of that. I'm not sure why my thoughts seem as if they have more validity to me when they're shared. But sometimes when things run through my head a lot, the only way I can seem to progress to the next thought is to share them with the world. And I guess I preface this blog with those thoughts because I feel the need to purge whats been circling in my brain once again.

There's a couple things I've been struggling with lately and they're not things I like to dwell on. The first is that I find myself rather envious lately and that is not one of the seven deadly sins that I often struggle with. There's one thing in particular this envy has focused on but it has taken other forms as well. It's not an emotion I'm comfortable or familiar with and therefore I'm having a hard time finding the tools to overcome it with.

Another problem I've been having is trying to break bad habits. I am a creature of routine, immediate pleasure, and comfort. I admit it. I like the easy, obvious pay off. But I have a few things in my life at the moment that need to change or that I need to give up and I'm having a hard time accepting that. How do you give up something that you know will ultimately be disastrous when it makes you happy in the moment? And how do you convince yourself to put all the hard work in now, and to stick to it, when you know you won't see the fruits of your labor for some time to come?

I know this was a particularly abstract and vague post but I don't think its necessarily fair or appropriate to share all the details in this type of forum. For those of you that pray, I would appreciate your thoughts in helping me become stronger in these current struggles. And for those that don't...a simple pat on the back and 'you can do it!' will suffice! :)