Giving Thanks

This is what my life has consisted of lately: work, lack of sleep, being lonely, missing my family, driving long hours, putting my cat to sleep, wishing I had a guy in my life that inspired butterflies, and my roommate being out of town for basically the last month.

But considering its Thanksgiving weekend I thought I'd take the time to put all that aside and make a list of all the incredible things in my life that I'm grateful for. It's always good to remind ourselves how lucky we are...

1. having a good relationship with my family

2. my health and the health of those I care about

3. being employed

4. actually enjoying my job

5. Peanut and Percy

6. the fact that Prancer was only in pain for a brief time before his death

7. my roommate Meagan, who has basically become my rock and without whom I probably couldn't have made it thru these last few months

8. my two oldest and best friends Alyson and Diana...having coffee with them today was the highlight of my month and I'm so grateful to know they'll always be in my life

9. all my other amazing friends and the great girls I met during nursing school

10. to have found love in my life, even if it didn't last

11. to be financially stable enough to afford a nice apt, a nice car, to live comfortably and to be able to donate to causes I feel passionately about

12. having an optimistic outlook for the future

13. the ability to travel

14. my faith in God

15. and all the trivial pleasures in life I am lucky enough to partake in...good food, good wine, good books, my big bed, my dvr, a good laugh, etc

There are so many more blessings I'm thankful for, but I think those are the most important to me right now.

In Memory of Prancer

Today, I had to put Prancer, my first pet who was truly "mine", to rest. Only 2 weeks ago the vet discovered a tumor wrapped around the base of his tongue. One week ago he had a biopsy, and today he's gone. I never realized things could happen this fast.

I have three fuzzy kids but Prancer was my first and therefore always had a special place in my heart. He always let all the other cats push him around at Pets Ahoy but all he ever wanted was some attention and some extra scratches and I knew I couldn't leave him there when I left. He was such a lover, always wanting to be around people and to see what was going on. Sometimes he could be a little pushy, but now that he's gone I miss him walking all over me, and tapping me in the face when it was time to wake up in the morning, his incessant purring and little squeaky meow. Every time I'd pick him up from the vet, all the techs would come out and tell me about all the 'stories' he told them and how sweet he was. No one was immune to Prancer's charms. And now without him the apartment seems so empty. He was such a small cat, but his personality could fill 10 rooms. I'll never be able to say enough about how amazing he was and how much I miss him.

Goodbye Prancer-butt. You were so so loved and will never be forgotten.

A Tribute to Taylor

So obviously I've been MIA from my blog for a few weeks, and this evening won't be much of a change considering I have to wake up for work in 5.5 hours, but I thoughts I'd devote at least a few minutes of my time to releasing some pent-up angst I've developed thanks to one of my favorite artists.

I love Taylor Swift. I do. I totally adore her. And since her new album, Speak Now, hit stores two weeks ago, I've been unable to put anything else in my CD player. Most of her songs are about nothing original...finding love and losing it later...but I believe she is so amazingly talented at expressing emotion in song and I defy anyone to not be able to relate to at least one of her songs. The fact that she is gorgeous and comes off as one of the sweetest, most genuine people alive doesn't make me love her any less either.

There's just one problem. Taylor's songs never cease to remind me of The Ex. It's like a curse. I get so elated listening to her music and yet torn down by memories at the same time. I'd hoped it would end
with her last album because "Forever and Always" was impossible to listen to without thinking of him.

"You said Forever and Always...you didn't mean it baby"

But now Speak Now is out and there's a whole new list of songs that hurl me unwillingly down memory lane. From "Enchanted" that haunts me with thoughts of how I felt after our first date:

"This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.
I'll spend forever, wondering if you knew
I was Enchanted to meet you"

To the endless lines of lyrics that remind me of the End and the Now:

"Stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had
But I still mean every word I say to you.
He will try and take away my pain, and he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead."


"All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss..."


"So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe"

Oh Taylor, its painful how much I love you and how much you hurt me all at the same time. But all I can do is continue to listen to your CD on repeat, shout the lyrics alone in my car, and wait until the song I identify with most is "Sparks Fly."